Not a Shove…More of a Love Tap

8 Jun

Well friends, this time it’s been over a month since I sat down to compartmentalize feelings to formulate thoughts to create words to type into this cute little blog that’s been going strong throughout my volunteer adventure. I apologize for the time lapse, though if you embody what I strive for and accept the triviality of space and time, maybe it doesn’t matter to you too much. I can only hope.

The month of May was nothing short of an emotional overload. In an attempt to avoid interpersonal snafus in my own life I got lost in the quandaries of a pal…which was a nice distraction from my own issues, until inevitably I became emotionally involved. (Is there a name for feeling another’s feelings? Like tangibly, physically, feeling the way another person does, out of compassion, empathy, or just some superhuman connection? I’d love to learn that term.) So simultaneously I became overinvested in a friend’s troubles and knee deep in a few of my own confusing relationships. The good Lord knows I like to feel the feels, but this was just too much. Near the end of the month I finally decided that I needed to make things right, and multiple difficult conversations later I was on the path of healing each of the relationships in my life that had gone somewhere south of normal. I needed a fresh start, and those I care about deserved it, too. This was my mentality heading into June.

JUNE! I am absolutely loving this month so far. I’ve so affectionately taken to calling it “no-drama June,” and I’ve once again made a pact with myself to ground myself in the world in front of me instead of the one in my head, and be present to each and every moment these dwindling Burgh days have to offer. Last weekend some of the girls in my family came to town for a Pittsburgh adventure, and 2 hours of coffee time on June 1st definitely set the month out on the right foot. This week service progressed as usual, even a little slow as my office prepares to transition me out and new help in. But I’ve tried to carry on with a spring in my step and a song in my heart, because these are the days we’ll miss when it’s over.

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Sisters in the Burgh! 

Yesterday 5 of us went out to Prospect, PA to participate in the Run or Dye, a 5k where brilliant colors flew through the air to paint our persons with the rainbow as we ran. Energy was high and laughter was loud as we watched our white t-shirts, headbands, and socks get drenched in color. There was not one spec of clothing or skin that went unpainted. The pals and I had an absolute blast. Why spend your days in black and white when there’s so much color to absorb? RUN IN COLOR. LIVE IN COLOR.

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Today is Pentecost Sunday. To Catholics, this means that today we remember that the Holy Spirit is very much alive in the world, and when we surrender control to the movement of the Spirit we are led where we are meant to go. I DIG THIS. And I think it is important to remember no matter what your religion, spirituality, or world vision. When you open your eyes and pay attention to the world (be where your feet are, live in color, and all those other little things I say with a sly grin), you will ultimately be led in the right direction. And as a spunky, happy, immigration lawyer and nun told me at a picnic yesterday, if you have trust in that process life is terribly exciting, and incredibly fun, too.

In recent years I’ve begun this life-long process of being led. I believe that the Spirit led me to Change a Heart. It’s too random to believe it just happened by chance. And as I sit in this coffee shop today with one of the pals that has changed my heart, I am so thankful that I responded to that little shove—the gentle love tap—that guided me to this place. And I trust that I will continue to feel that little push, as I soak up these last few months, move to Boston, and continue to do my little part to set the world ablaze.

 

 

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